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Oct 29, 2009

Big boy…not so much.

Today as I got ready to take the kids to school I pulled out one of Jake’s hand-me-down coats for Pete.  As I put the coat on Pete I was met with a flood of memories of Jake in that coat.  The main one being, that is the coat I sent Jake to preschool in.

The significance of this is in the fact it (mostly) fits Pete.  Days after Jake turned 3 I put him on a school bus that stopped outside our townhome and sent him away for half the day to preschool.  My perspective was different then.  Jake seemed so big to me.  As I look at Pete in the coat I know he is still so young, and though Jake was 7 months older than Pete is now, he was too.  

With Jake’s vision issues I know it was the right choice to send him to preschool where he was getting more time with therapists.  But as I look at Pete in his coat I think, Jake had to grow up pretty darn fast.  Picture_0053104 009

This is Jake getting off the bus on the last day of preschool before summer break 2004.  He turned 3 in January  and this is May. 

Picture_0053104 027

One of my favorite pictures of Jake when he was little.  

I miss the time with my little Jake.  He is turning 9 in January and I can’t help but think the time when it isn’t cool to kiss his Mom goodbye anymore, or tell me how his day was or even talk to me outside of grunting will soon be here.  Picture14

He is my first baby.  He is the one who taught me what it meant to be a mother.  He was the first one I felt that motherly instinct,  where I would do ANYTHING for him.  Walk through fire so he doesn’t get stung by a bee, you bet.  That kind of skewed logic that you never understand until you experience it.  I love him so much.  And even when he doesn’t want me to tell him that every single day, when he leaves, when he comes home, when he goes to bed, when he gets up, just when we are sitting near each other,  I will still tell him.  I love you Bubs.    

Jake 2008-09

 

3 comments:

Ju and Brack said...

I seriously almost cried just reading this. I cannot imagine my life without Jake in it. He has been such a blessing to me and as also brought me so much happiness in my life. I hate watching him grow up but love being a part of his life. I remember taking him to the bus and picking him up, seems like just yesterday. What a special boy he is. He will always be Bubba to me! Love you Jakers!

Amara said...

Isn't that hard? W hen they have trouble with things and you feel like you need to protect them the most is when you need to send them off on their own sooner! Ari was getting on the bus by age two. Of course Ari LOVED going. It was just hard for me.

Erica said...

I DID just cry... But, that's me for ya! I'm a baby.

That was such a sweet post! He is so stinkin' adorable! Love him!! And, I can't believe he's almost NINE!